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My Best
Christmas Ever
I remember Christmas Eve a few years ago.
I was down and out, feeling sorry for myself, drowning in my
loneliness and questioning my life. I couldn’t seem to figure
out why no one seemed to care. It was going to be another hard
day for a man imprisoned.
I
sat gazing intently out the bared window. I layer of fresh
fallen snow blanketed the ground. A small group of sparrows
darting back and forth between the hedgerows was the only
movement. The snow and cold of the morning had prevented the
usual flow of traffic down the highway in the distance. I wished
it hadn’t, for it spoiled my pastime of watching the people
and cars on there way here and there. I would wonder where each
was going. I had done it so many times that I could tell the
time of day with the passing of certain cars.
These I had all but quit wondering about, they were the
local people and it was the unfamiliar that I wondered about.
These I could imagine were on long trips and I would daydream
myself into them. I would ride off from the bindings, which held
me.
Yes,
I missed the traffic and my dreams of escape. Today I did not
desire the boredom and everyday thoughts to get a grasp on my
mind. I looked toward the sky, an airplane with its vapor trail
going clear across the open sky to the northern horizon. To be
able to fly across the sky to anywhere, to a fantasy world, now
that’s escape!
As
my thought begins to focus on the world this airplane could take
me to, I heard a voice begin to speak of escape and freedom.
You
can walk run, drive or fly and you can go beyond the confines of
this place. You can go past the busy stores and intersections,
through the suburbs, by the factories and into the country
fields, even beyond the mountains and rivers. You can walk where
few, if any men have walked, where the eagle rules the sky and
only the strongest survive. You can go till only the sound of
the wind fills the air and the sound of your heartbeat echoes in
your ears like the thundering hooves of a mighty stallion. Then
you will realize that there is no escape from the things, which
imprison you. No matter how fast or how far you can run you will
never escape yourself and the thoughts, which bind your soul.
There
is but one prison and it is not made of steel and concrete,
there are no walls, fences or bars. There is but yourself and
the limitations, which you impose on yourself. You have built
within your mind the guards that circumscribe your life. You
choose to do all you do and you do so freely. You choose to be
resistant or to be nonresistant, to love or hate, to keep the
laws or to throw them to the wind. You are free to do, say and
act as you choose. It isn’t the bars that bind; but rather you
have bound yourself to the bars with your innermost thoughts.
You
have guarded yourself with hate, regret and lust. You’ve
strived to escape but only bound yourself tighter with drugs,
alcohol and money. You ran into a box canyon and now the end is
near, the walls are closing in on your life, all Hell seems to
be coming at you… escape seems impossible…yet it is
possible! Beyond the airplane, far into if not beyond the blue
of the heavens, to a world men hope and dream of. Yet it is not
a dream world. It is the home of all mankind, home of your
Heavenly Father. He is your only escape from the wrath of rue in
which you have tightly bound yourself.
Almost
as sudden as the voice started it withdrew. I could only hear
the voices of children singing, the lovely sound filled the air.
There was a group of people standing in the courtyard caroling.
They were singing songs I had heard as a child, Silent Night,
Hark the Herald and Peace on Earth. I listened intently to each,
especially there last, Amazing Grace. As they sang tears swelled
in my eyes. The voice I had heard earlier spoke again, this time
from behind me. I turned to see who was there. Through the haze
of my tear filled eyes I could see the form of a man. As my eyes
met His eyes; sad yet understanding and filled with love; He
spoke these few words; “It was all for you so that you could
have the freedom which your heart seeks”. I being surprised
that someone was there with me dried the tears as to be able to
see who was there. But when I removed my hands from my eyes I
was alone, only a pillar of light came through the barred window
casting a shadow in the shape of a cross on the wall across from
me. At the base of the cross lay a note pad with these neatly
written words.
Christmas
is a special time of year;
A time for sharing and
holiday cheer;
It’s a season to be thankful
and to give;
To remember God gave His Son
that we may live.
A day to give our love to one
another;
To reminisce the birth of our
eldest brother.
A day to give a smile of
understanding;
To open our hearts and let His
love in.
A day to forgive and be
forgiven;
To become free from our
worldly prisons,
To remember Christ and all He
gave;
And His reason…that we could
live beyond the grave.
After reading them I fell to my knees and
thanked God for the greatest gift that anyone could receive on
Christmas; the gift of Christ the Son and His love; a gift,
which freed me from the worldly prison in which I had placed
myself.
Copyright CLK1985 ©
All rights reserved
Clyde
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